How We Found Out ; and, How Can We Thank Joe?

-----Original Message-----
From: Diane Giese
Sent: 06 October 2006 06:02
To: 'Ellen Peterson'; 'Susan Kidder'; 'Anne Kovach'; 'Dorothy Reed'; Joanie Thomas; Steve Stollenwerk; Dylan; 'John Giese'
Subject: Kirsten's son Joey

Sorry about the email, but I can't talk about this anymore tonight. I do want to pass that I called Karin and she and I had a long talk with some crying and a wee bit of laughter. If you haven't heard the news, here's the story about Joey's death: http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/world/iraq/memorial/20061005-9999-7m5perry.html 

Karin told me that Kirsten [Joe's Mother] had called her Monday morning, saying she had woken up with chest pains in the middle of the night. She thought she was having a heart attack and Karin [her sister] urged her to see a doctor. Later... that day, Kirsten got the call from the military saying that Joey had been killed about 1:30 in the afternoon, Iraqi time. Tracking back the time difference between Iraq and California, he was shot about the same time that Kirsten woke up feeling like her heart was literally breaking. Karin has spent nearly every waking minute with Kirsten since then, who flew yesterday to Fort Bragg in North Carolina to be at the memorial ceremony. Joey's body is in Delaware now for the autopsy (routine, Karin says) and when his body is in San Diego they'll have a memorial at a church in Santee. He'll be buried at Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery with full military honors ( http://www.interment.net/data/us/ca/sandiego/rosecrans/ ). I asked if it was okay if I come and she cried and said, "we would be so happy if you'd be there to help us honor Joe." They don't know when it will be, but she promised she'd call me as soon as they know. And I promised I'd let all of you know, too.

Karin said that she and Kirsten and their mom and Corina (Karin's daughter) have been talking a lot these past few days. Much about sadness, a lot of remembering Joey and some talk of trivial things. She said that they go back and forth between crying and laughing about the trivial things, mostly. I guess that's what happens. She talked a lot about how Joey was in his element, helping people in Iraq. He was actually there four times, rather than two that the paper said. [...] He was mainly involved in training Iraqis to be police to build their ability to govern themselves. She said that when he was shot in the head, he was the only American with a group of Iraqi police. She said that Joey told Kirsten many times how happy the Iraqi people were that Americans are there and how thankful they are that we are helping them build a country that belongs to the people. Karin said that she and Kirsten talked many times about the fact that being in Iraq and doing the things he was doing there was the most important thing Joey felt he had ever done. He had a purpose. He knew what he was doing mattered -- to the Iraqis and, for our own safety, to every American that was killed by terrorists and all of us who travel or are in places where terrorism threats exist.

But Kirsten. He was her only child. My heart breaks for her. When I told Karin that our first reaction was "oh my God, Kirsten." and then the second reaction was "How can we possibly say thank you?" She cried and then asked if she could share that with Kirsten. Sorry about rambling on here. I let Karin know that the whole network of Stollenwerk heart strings are wrapped around them from Seattle to the Bay Area, from Mt. Shasta and San Diego and Vancouver and all the way from England. And she said they all know that and they appreciate the outpouring of love and support.

I plan to go to San Diego once I know when the memorial is. Joey's body is in Delaware now and they don't know when they'll get him back to San Diego. But when they do, I'll do my best to come honor him.

I love all of you,

Diane

-----Original Message-----
From: Ellen Peterson
Sent: 06 October 2006 06:46
Subject: RE: Kirsten's son Joey

I can't say much more than all that you've said and all that we are all feeling now. Please let us know when we can be there for Kirsten. I truly cannot even imagine. How can anyone ever possibly say "thank you" for Joey?
I gave Andrew, who arrived home today, the tightest longest hug he could endure tonight...............

Ellen Peterson
Life is a temporary assignment. Make everyday be the best it can be. (The Purpose Driven Life)

-----Original Message-----
From: Diane Giese
Sent: 14 October 2006 17:33
Subject: Joey's memorial: final details

Hi everyone,

Karin called yesterday with the final information. Joey's memorial will be at 10:00 a.m. on Saturday October 21st at the Sunrise Community Church in Santee. The address is: 8805 N Magnolia Ave, Santee, CA 92071

Afterward, they will have a smaller gathering [...]. They expect over 1,000 people to attend the memorial. Karin will read [our] poem and is hoping that Corina will help her by reading part of it too. Corina is adept with technology and has been putting together a multimedia presentation about Joey. Karin said that he would have LOVED being the center of attention like this. [...] to open up communication among everyone.

[...] flying to San Diego on Thursday night and on Saturday [...] to represent all of us who I know would also be there if they could, but are not able to. [...]

Love to all, Diane

-----Original Message-----
From: Dorothy Reed
Sent: 14 October 2006 19:04

Subject: Pleased and Proud

I have just now been able to pull up the articles and announcements which you have made available to us all, of the sympathies and sorrows of those connected to Joe Perry. (Security factors on my computer were blocking the receiving of any military announcements.)

I am so glad you initiated and assisted in the reporting of events up to and after Joey's passing. Helen [Joe's Grandmother] was so amazed at the breadth of the responses and the outpouring of sympathies she and her family has and are receiving. She was the one whose appreciation encouraged me to push to see the comments which came in, at least to your link in your e-mail. Thank you as your mother for your sensitivity and as a friend of Helen's, that she could see the responses for her grandson's passing, in his dedication to his country and of others' gratefulness for his service. You have done a kind and helpful thing for the Yuhls and I know they very much appreciate your presence in this process. And...though you will not be physically here next Saturday at 10:30 for Joey's funeral, your words and sentiments will be heard. God blesses us for the good we do for others. I love you ... and I appreciate the good in you and in all of my children.

Love, Mom

-----Original Message-----
From: Karin Yuhl
Sent: 14 October 2006 21:02

Subject: Re: Update

Dear Stollenwerk Clan,

Joe's remains arrived in San Diego last evening. He had a military 'special escort', his close friend Jon-Paul. Jon-Paul had grown up with Joe and they joined the military together. Kirsten, Vern, Roy, Karina, Mom, Dad, and I were there for Joe's arrival.

It was difficult, but Kirsten knew that Joe was at peace. She is phenomenally strong.

We are so glad that so many of you are able to join us on Oct. 21 at Sonrise Community Church.

Thank you for the Salute to Joe. I am so honored to read it. Diane, I am hopeful you and I will be able to get together, so I can practice without tears.

Love to all,

Karin

Selected Comments Sent to San Diego Union Tribune

-----Original Message-----
From: Dennis Connors
Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 10:54 PM
To: Williams, Jack
Subject: Sgt. Perry

-----Original Message-----
From: Chris Verdugo
Sent: Friday, October 06, 2006 4:13 AM
To: Williams, Jack
Subject: Sgt. Joseph Perry

Mr. Williams:  I admire you for recognizing and paying tribute to local hero and fallen soldier, Sgt. Joseph Perry.  This type of news hits very close to home because our son, Sgt. Matthew Verdugo, of the 1st Brigade, 1st Armored Division who is currently serving on his second tour of duty (recently extended) and is stationed in Ramadi, Iraq.  I had to force myself to read the entire article because of its nature and the worry we experience each day Matt and his fellow soldiers serve in that part of the world.